Do I hear steps? Strange, humans usually don't come this far down the trail.  It must be a couple of those idiots who like to adventure in the middle of the desert on a hot Sunday afternoon simply because is April.  Well, I'd better do my rock impression once again, I really can't afford to get my shell bashed in again, I'm looking pretty ragged now a days since I fell off that cliff the other day.
 Here she comes, oh oh, she's looking down as if looking for something.  The other guy is way out there on the other side of the river bed looking for snakes.  I'd better not move.  They couldn't have seen my tracks, this soil here is rocky, it won't rain for a while either so I'll have time to cross the river bed.  Maybe there'll be more green stuff to eat over there.  Oh man, she SCREAMED and is calling her friend.  She must have seen me, I'd better get back into this shell mighty quick.
 "LOOK, LOOK, A TURTLE OHMIGOD, OHMIGOD, OHMIGOD"  Gees, hasn't she ever seen a turtle before? What the hell is she all excited about? She thought I was a snake?  Where is this chick from anyway? I wish this other guy wouldn't walk in front of me like that.  The shadows scare me and I really don't fit that much more into this shell anymore.  Yeah, is the tremendous amounts of food I'd eaten lately.. NOT !! Is this stupid shell, is all worn out and old. Oh wait! I must be old.  Well, yeah, that's why I live in these protected areas of the Valley of Fire in Nevada.  HELLO!!, this people think our species are pretty important and they protect us.  I wish, however, that the guys in uniforms would keep these two amateurs off this river bed and mark the REAL trail better, I'd bet they are lost.
 What?  He actually thinks I'll eat that green crap he's putting in front of me? Look at my mouth you nitwit, is green all over, see?  I just had a bunch of better stuff than that a while ago, I'm looking for WATER, can you see is pretty dry here?  This sandstone absorbs the water like a sponge and nothing remains after a rain.  Hey, the chick has a bottle of water, maybe she'll give me some.  No, she won't, they are not supposed to feed us or water us or even touch us, but we do look pretty cute sitting here blinking and pretending we are safe in this worn out shell.  Gees, I wish they'd quit trying to make me eat, I DON'T WANNIT, GET IT?
 Ahh, how cute, she wants to take me home and take care of me.  Yeah, I'd probably live it up in a nice aquarium with fresh lettuce and a bowl of fresh distilled water all the time.  But then, I wouldn't have these beautiful red, yellow, purple and orange rocks to walk around.  There are so few of us around here.  I haven't seen another one of my species in ages.  All I see are the damn coyotes and rabbits who think I could provide them with a nice meal for the afternoon.  Hell, even the snakes want to take a bite now and again, is a good thing I have this protective skin that nothing gets to.  What's he doing with my claws?  He's touching me, AARRGGG.. leave me alone you weirdo, I can't give you any thrills, I can't even scratch you with my long claws, they are made for walking, slowly at that, but walking nevertheless.
 When will they leave? I mean, really, I just want to get to the other side of the river bed, why oh why did I come down here?  I should have stayed way up there where no human can climb to.  I'd be watching these two idiots from up above instead of trying to spit out the stupid leaves they want me to eat.  Oh man, the sun is really getting to my eyes, I didn't want to blink so much but he keeps giving me shade, then he moves and my sensitive eyes can't take that, not to mention that "IT SCARES ME TO DEATH!!  Just when I want to relax and push my legs and head out a bit, he does it again and I have to pull back.  Please, please, go back to your civilization and leave us wild life in peace?
 Didn't you notice the nice marked trail about two miles back?  How in the world did you make it here?  Oh, I see, you were looking for snakes and real big lizards.  Yeah, yeah, snakes are great to look at from the distance but we are really cute and safe and you can practically put your face to mine and you know I won't bite you.  Come on guy, try and do that to a rattlesnake and see if it'll blink cutely like I am.  I want to see the fang marks on your face real quick.
 Ok, is picture time, I wonder how they'll do this.  Oh oh, he's picking me up. Hey! PUT ME DOWN!! You are not supposed to do that to us endangered, beautiful, PROTECTED species of turtles.  You can take a picture of me but leave me on the ground, don't pick me up, it really scares the Hibijibies out of me.  Oh man!, he's doing it again.  Ok, let's get this over with, take the damn picture, I'll even smile a bit.  Oh no, now the is the screamers turn.  No, no, no, not so close to your face, you smell funny.  Gees… look at her silly smile, you'd think she just won the lottery.